The urge to write is like a...

From high school essays, the best  most unforgettable analogies penned by beginning writers:

(My favorites)

•  John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
• He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
•  She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
• He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
• She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

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[via sullivan]