Nothing new under the sun...

Got a brilliant new idea that with a patent could make you rich?

Probably not, because, judging by these, we've not only already thought up the good ideas, we've patented some pretty bizarre ones.

Dummy Chicken Farmer
US Patent Issued In 1981

Back in 1981, before growth hormones were introduced to pro sports leagues and our food chain, farmers were trying to figure out a way to get their chickens to fatten up fast. Why? Because faster fat fowls favor phat finances for farmers. So our poultry patron did a little study and came to this conclusion; chickens that are stimulated every few hours will eat more. His solution? The Dummy Chicken Farmer, a stuffed humanoid that hangs from a hook in his hat! This fake farmer is programmed to march around the chicken coop every 3.5 hours, with streamers streaming and audio blasting from his mechanical chest, stimulating the birds to chow down NOW!

Totally Absurd Inventions