The real reason I'm self-employed...

Excerpts from unfortunate resumes:

• My last employer insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
  
• My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
  
• Completed 11 years of high school.
  
• Being in trouble with the law, I moved quite frequently.
  
• I want a boss of average height, not too tall, though not strangely small (though I guess I could get used to just about anything given time).
  

[Even more]

[via mentalfloss]