No, I'd better not say anything here. Nope...

The "sceptred isle" has a, um, sperm shortage, prompting clinics to import Danish sperm. We all know what that could mean:

Warnings that "huge numbers of blonde, blue-eyed children" will be born as a result of the number of couples using sperm imported from Denmark have prompted the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority to review the shortage of British donors.

Blue-eyed blondes! The horror!

Those crafty Vikings may win yet.